Is love enough?

‘there is only one happiness in this life, to love and be loved - George Sand’

Every human being to ever walk on this planet has a story to tell. Love stories mostly. To be young and to be in love is beautiful until you get the adult version of it. When you are young and in love, the butterflies, sweet late night conversations, every gesture, is like “love will keep us alive” but “sometimes love just ain’t enough”. I’m sure many of you will agree if I say that the adult version is scary. Because then you truly realize that this grown up version of love is way different than you imagined and just disappoints you. Your idea of love is a joke..!!!

My story begins like any other love story. I was so in love for seven freaking years. However, I turned a blind eye to all those tiny red flags regarding it as a human error. I met Mr. X when I was in a different state for graduation yet we both belonged from the same city. He was this shy guy and I just was looking to befriend someone. Introduced by a mutual friend, we became good friends. Four months passed by and he asks me out. Hesitantly, I agree. Three years went by happily and filled with adventures only to find out that he was cheating on me all this while. what the fork? Deciding to end the relationship, I let him know that its over but the stupid me gave him a chance as he begged on his knees for one. I know what you’re thinking. Its just the typical love story. But the beginning of red flags began and I just got caught in the whirlwind of romance ignoring every little excuses and reasons as just another mistake.

Never knew I could be so forgiving. To forgive someone after they have hurt you over and over again, multiple times committing the same mistake, I wonder why’d I do it? I was naïve. My concept of love was filled with guilt trips from him and him being the victim making it impossible to escape from the toxicity of the relationship. Nevertheless I wanted to help him become a better person. To be the one to change him. You see, if somebody would have warned and told me that I cannot change him, ever.. I wouldn't listen. I was such a bullheaded girl but now that I have experienced it I'll make sure to pay attention. So mark my words, if somebody tells you its wrong then its probably wrong. You got to check for yourself and do what is right.

With some poor choices and wrong decisions along the way to the late twenties, I am blessed with a baby boy. I thought ‘Love’ would be enough to keep a man from taking the wrong decision but I was wrong. The news of my pregnancy totally shook both of us. While I decided to keep the baby, he wanted the opposite. Not bending into his will I had to endure a long term of mental abuse throughout my pregnancy. Accepting the rejection to marry me, I was ashamed of the society, to be a single mother and unmarried among those with values and morals as their ideology. The judgements and gossips were ringing in my ear and I just had to make up my mind. Asking for a chance to change and be a better man, I allowed him to take his time for the sake of my son. But I saw no remorse or sincerity in him. Looking at myself in the mirror I said “I cannot raise my son with a man like that. I’m a woman. I’m not weak. I’m not alone. If they can do it, so can you. Your son is your pride. Raise him to love and respect.” With that I said my final good bye to the man who changed my life and wished him luck for his future.

Now, I’m a bit older more matured, still picking up the pieces he broke and trying to fix everything one at a time. Recently graduated and ready to start all over again.

This is my first story. Many more to come. Please follow and subscribe.

XOXO